25-year-old Tabitha Janssen drove a 2007 Ford Escape, when she was struck crossing Highway 10, west of Detroit Lakes, by a charter bus heading eastbound, as the State Patrol reported. It all happened around 11 p.m. Friday, reported by The Daily Journal of Fergus Falls. There were 15 people total on the bus, who were all fine. Janssen died at the scene.
Wow that's really sad! It's crazy how the car is a total wreck and the driver was killed when nothing happened to the people on the bus, what a sad story!!
ReplyDeleteGreat summary!
That is horrible. Thats too bad that the driver of the car died. I'm glad everyone on the bus lived tho! good summary
ReplyDeleteGrade: 8/10
ReplyDeleteMistakes
• You seem to be having trouble stringing information together in this summary so that it reads smoothly. For example: "Tabitha Janssen drove a 2007 Ford Escape when she was struck" should be "Janssen was driving a 2007 Ford Escape when she was struck."
• "As the State Patrol reported" should be "according to the State Patrol.
• You don't refer to a newspaper as a source. Rather, the hard facts likely came from the State Patrol. You need to include the actual link to the original story in your summaries.
• The last sentence should read like this: The 15 passengers on the bus were not injured.