Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Man dies jumping off Mall of America parking ramp

The Bloomington Police got a call on Monday at 3:45 p.m. about an erratic driver who was in a hit and run crash. After getting information, cops followed the driver to the MOA parking ramp, where the unidentified man drove through a barricade to the seventh level. He then got out of his vehicle and jumped off the side, he landed below on the surface lot. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center, where he died.



http://www.startribune.com/local/west/85926747.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUZ
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1 comment:

  1. TeshaMarch 17, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    Grade: 8.5/10
    Mistakes
    • Don't use the slang "cops" in a news story. Refer to them as police or peace officers.
    • What is the MOA? Don't use acronyms without first stating what it stands for.
    • This is a run-on sentence that should have been divided into two: He then got out of his vehicle and jumped off the side, he landed below on the surface lot.

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